Archive for category Emotional Inteligence
Failure
Posted by Jackson Lim in Emotional Inteligence on July 29, 2010
Society normally shun failures, see them as obstacle to success, sure people say things like
Failures is the mother of success…
Or other hoopla about how we shouldn’t really feel fear to attempt anything because failure is just a part of life. I bet the same people who promote such a thing has the same fear as all of us have, they still remember they day when they brought back the report card to their moms, only to get a night of beating. Or the day when they got a slap to the face when they try to kiss their first love. Everybody hate to fail, and when you are on the spot where you fail publicly, it is even more traumatizing. The most important thing about the failing business is to do not give up, pick yourself up and get going, confucius say:
It does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop
Once you are on your feet, analyse and think carefully why you fail, is it because the method you use? Is there a better way of doing it? The worst thing you can do when you fail is to drink over it, you know you can’t possibly forget about it, no matter what you do. It is better for your emotional well being when you take steps to actually figure out why you landed here in the first place.
You know who is the real loser? Those people who stand in the sidelines, pointing and talking about how much you suck. Seriously, what benefit did they gain by doing that? What message are they trying to convey? To tell people they are smarter then you? Faster then you? More agressive then you? Ask yourself, so what if you are not that smart, study harder then them. So what if you are slower then them, take your time to make sure you don’t fall. So what if you are not that agressive, use a different approach. The most important thing is to keep going, get it done, and get it over with.
When you fail and give up, you lose. Think about it.
How to demand respect from family and friends, steps with examples!
Posted by Jackson Lim in Emotional Inteligence on February 23, 2010
Below is a quick fix to demand more respect from your peers and family members, I’ve seen people use it and I took the time to write it down, so here goes:
1. Point fingers at a person or a group of people and ask them to SHUT UP!
Example: While reading this post, look at the people around you. Point at the nearest group with passion, open your eyes wide open and shout “SHUT UP, I AM TRYING TO READ HERE!”
2. Ask anyone a question that they can’t possibly know the answer, and say how stupid they are for not knowing the answer
Example: “Hey Bob, do you know that there are many different types of Ping Pong bat in China?”, after a long pause, you say “STUPID, you call yourself a sport person, go to Bed!”
3. When a group of people is discussing passionately about something, interrupt them to let them know you knew what they are talking about
Example: “Jackson and Ray, listen, no need to argue. I KNOW for sure that the chicken comes first before the egg, because I study about it long ago”
4. Kept on interrupting a person when they are talking
Example:
Jackson: “I think the best…”
Bob: “The best way to move forward in this project is to use the spiral methodology”
Jackson:”Right, the goal for this phase is…”
Bob:”To make sure that the module is stable and functional”
Jackson: “Right.”
5. Comment about the physical appearance of a person, and make sure they realize it
Example: “Jackson, you look so dark. Your skin color is so dark, you look like a Malay Boy, do YOU know you look like a Malay Boy?”
6. Look away when a person is talking to you, and ask them to look at something that has no relation to what they are talking about
Example: While a friend is talking passionately about career advancement, you look away and say ”Yes, I agree. Yes Yes. OH! Look at this dress, it will look good in jeans AND kaki!”
7. Disagree about everything, regardless of context to show that you are smarter then them
Example: The air has oxygen? Nonsense, even an ant knows that it wasn’t true! Don’t spread lies Jackson.
8. Agree with everything they say, and tell them you know the facts long ago
Example: Yeah I know the air has oxygen long ago, when I am still studying in kindergarten.
9. While a person is giving you instructions, don’t write it down the first time, write it down the second time when you asked them to repeat the steps
Example: After the person has guide you through on how to record the VCR, you say “WOW it is so easy, please repeat your steps again, I want to write it down this time”
10. Give people advice regardless of whether they want your advice or not
Example: “Do you know that you can’t demand for respect, you must earn it”
If you use all the 10 steps listed above to gain respect, you should pat yourself on the back and say “I am such a loser, and I am sad”.
Monday blues and insecurity
Posted by Jackson Lim in Emotional Inteligence on October 29, 2009
The title of this post sum up the feeling that I have right now, and in a weird way I feel much better to share it with the rest of the world who cares, that include my boss or my employer who is probably monitoring the Internet, Ops. I guess almost everybody experienced the feeling that I have right now at some point in their life. The moment I open my eyes this morning, I feel sick, not physically sick but emotionally sick. I feel like there is a ton of brinks waiting for me to carry, the feeling of dread is overwhelming. Even pulling away my blanket to get up feels like I have to slaughter a thousand men, my body is screaming at me not to get up. But I have to.
I stare at my face in the mirror, saw those lazy eyes and I feel like a bum. How can I allow myself to be lazy, how can I allow myself to be tired? Where is the energy I had? Where have it gone I wonder. Then I thought about a million things I have to do in the office, people rely on me to get things done. Yet I feel like there is no body who is backing me up, no body really cares about the little me inside, as long as I get the wheel turning. I know it is not true, people do care but how come I don’t feel the love? Maybe I am just asking too much. Put my cloths on and kick start my bike, I gotta say that it is the must interesting part of my day, when I ride my bike around the highway.
During the ride to work I contemplated on my feelings, why do I feel this way? What is the root cause of my problem? Saw the front door to my office and I still don’t know. Maybe it is something that will go away with time. But one thing is for sure, I need more sleep, a lot more sleep.